10/4 Mental Toughness Thursday

Duane loves to deadlift! He's also doing the Whole Life Challenge. 
Every Thursday I like to share nuggets of wisdom to help you develop your mental toughness. Developing your mental toughness is training your coping skills. It's no different than training for a heavy deadlift or practicing your snatch. It's a progressive process that takes lots of practice, repetition and focus. 
I am doing my 17th (or so I've lost count) Whole Life Challenge. In some ways I'm obligated to do a WLC every time we run it through the gym. There have been many times that I simply don't want to do another WLC. I still participate in every one though, even when I don't feel like it. 
I'm grateful that I have this obligation. Leadership by example is an important personal value and I would feel like a hypocrite if I asked you all to do something that I am unwilling to do. Every WLC I learn something new, or am reminded of an important coping skill that I have let lapse. This week veteran WLC players received an email that struck a cord with me. 
I hear from so many of our True Spirit CrossFitters that they wish they could ,"just get my shit together," or just wish they could stop drinking so much, smoking, eating candy, etc. I hear a lot of wishes without an equally well thought out or developed plan to help make that wish come true. The WLC email I'm sharing with you address that very thing. It asks us, "Have you ever wished you could be a particular kind of person?"
Since I have hear nearly all of you express your wish to be a particular kind of person, I am sharing this nugget of WLC wisdom with you. 

Have you ever wished you could be a particular kind of person?
by Becca Borawski Jenkins

The kind who cooks Thai cuisine from scratch? The type who loves mass tours of ancient ruins? The sort who doesn’t care at all when friends change plans at the last minute and invite their just-moved-in neighbors over for your cozy dinner party?

If you’ve tried and failed to be “that person,” then you already know how well it works out.

Resentment. Ruined ruin experiences. Really, really bad pad thai.

With our culture’s “say yes!” mentality, though, it’s hard to accept who you’re not. Yet, that’s a major secret to happiness: guarding your time well by saying no to what doesn’t fulfill you.

​Next time you get those icky I-don’t-wanna feelings, try walking yourself through this sequence:

1. Ask yourself, “Do I really want to do this?” Often, we think we want something, when really we just want to be seen a certain way or others want us to do a particular thing.
   
   
2. If your answer is, “No, I don’t want to do this thing,” then ask, “What is it I actually want out of the experience?” For instance, you might want to host a fancy dinner party because you really want to give your family an excuse to get together. You might be feeling pressure to join a certain gym because you actually like the community there (and not so much the workouts).
   
   
3. Find a substitute. If you want a family get-together, a game night might do just as well and be far simpler and less stressful to execute. If a high-intensity gym feels overwhelming and what you’re after is healthy friends, then try Zumba, yoga, or a walking club.
4. Learn when to just say no. Sometimes you simply don’t want to do something, like deal with your friends’ last-minute additions. In that case, tell them kindly, “We have limited time and we want to spend it with you, not strangers. Let’s keep our plans just for us.”

And then—let yourself off the hook. No guilt. No excuses. No backsliding. You deserve to be joyous. You deserve to follow your heart and your desires—not someone else’s if they don’t feel right.

So, accept who you aren’t today.

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